


Two Times He Broke My Heart, And One Time He Broke Down

by Gosarah15



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:34:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7401040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gosarah15/pseuds/Gosarah15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh has a tendency to hurt Tyler (unintentionally, of course, but still). Tyler chooses to hide his pain from him in order to stay best friends with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Times He Broke My Heart, And One Time He Broke Down

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, it's another story that's based off of real events that I just switched up some names for... Enjoy, I guess. :3

I try to hold in my smile as his face appears on the screen of my phone. It has become a new after-school tradition. Every day around 5:00, I would send him a text and he’d call me up to video chat. We’d talk forever about absolutely nothing and everything, laughing, smiling, just enjoying each other’s company.

But today is different. I can see by the look on his face that something’s not right.

“Hey, Josh.”

He looks up from his homework. “Hi.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

My smile instantly fades as I ask, “What’s wrong?”

He sighs, rubbing his temples and squeezing his eyes shut tight. There’s a lot of hesitation, but I urge him on. “Tell me, please.”

“It’s-it’s just that people keep telling me that you and I would make a cute couple…”

My heart fills with hope. My friends don’t even know that I like him, and I don’t plan on telling them until I know for sure, but they keep telling me that he and I should date, and I’m starting to believe them, and-

“...And I’m sick of it!”

My thoughts stop. My hopes dissolve. My heart drops.

“I mean, we would _never_ date, and I think we both know why.”

I go quiet, nonplussed as I just wait for him to continue. I wouldn’t be able to react in any other way, as I am too shocked and confused to really say anything, anyways.

“We both know you’re pretty broken, and at least I know this because of the things you told me.”

I don’t say anything, I merely nod.

“And I hope you don’t take any offence by this, but it’s pretty difficult to care for somebody as broken as you, and I don’t think I would ever be able to.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He never says stuff like this. He must be really fed up. I try to say something, anything, but my mind is filled with his words. I have nothing to say to him.

“Well, I got a ton of homework that I really need to finish quickly so I have to go, but I can call you later.” I finished my homework an hour ago, I don’t know why I find myself lying to him.

Josh gives me a puzzled look, as I have never done this before, but nods. “Sure. I’ll see you later, then.”

I put on a big smile and wave goodbye as he ends the call. The screen goes black and the room is silent. My mind is racing and I can’t seem to look away from my phone. I can’t move from my spot on the floor, I’m frozen.

I feel something land on my arm. A tear. I’m crying.

A sudden wave of vexation crashes over me and I throw my phone across my room in frustration with not just myself, but also with Josh. It hits the wall opposite to where I am sitting with a small thud and just sits there until I finally pick myself up, furious and inarticulate as I walk over to check for any cracks in the screen. That was probably the only way I could convey my mood, and now that I’ve done it, I’m unable to express myself or even speak.

I never really thought that he could ever be this hurtful without even trying, but now that he really did do it, I couldn’t help but question if I really knew him at all. My breath starts to quicken and it feels as if the walls are closing in on me. The anxiety continues to build and tears fall from my eyes. I curl up in a ball in an attempt to shut out all the paranoia and anxiety that came from those few words, but to no avail. My heart and my brain got the best of me, and I feel lost and afraid.

After a while, my breathing evens out and I stop crying. I check the time. A full hour and a half has passed since I ended the call with Josh. Checking my hair and face in the mirror, I tell myself that he didn’t mean anything he said, and it was just the provocation from our friends that was getting to him. For a while, their words, whether deliberate or unintentional, annoyed me too, but I got over it quickly. It never seemed like he did. Maybe that was why he said those things.

I go back into my room and sit back in my normal spot and send him a text. Less than a minute later I hear the familiar ringtone and answer. I see his face again, and this time, we’re both smiling.

  
  


Almost the entire cast and crew for the play is in the ice cream shop. I’m here with one of my friends who I gave a ride to and I’m deliberately standing a few feet away from Josh and some of the other people he’s talking to. He doesn’t seem to even notice I’m here, and I’m sort of okay with that… sort of.

I can’t say I’m mad at him, because it’s not his fault I’m upset. It’s my own fault. I said he could date Her. I told him I’d rather they be happy together than not be together and not be… Even if it means watching my crush spend every second of every day thinking and talking about how happy he is to be dating my friend.

I have already begrudgingly accepted that if I wanted to keep him in my life, I would have to deal with the fact that he was never going to care about me in the way that I care about him. Though I've accepted that fact, however reluctantly, I definitely resent letting it get to the point in which I actually had to tell him that I was okay with him asking out my friend, who most definitely liked him back.

I don’t really know when it happened, but I turn around to look at the table Josh was sitting at to see that he isn’t there anymore. He must’ve left in the time that I was talking to Pete about his problem with Patrick and how he thought that Patrick was holding a grudge against him. I admit, I’m a little hurt that Josh didn’t say goodbye or anything, but I guess I can focus better on the problem I was helping Pete through.

I glance back to the place that my friend was only a few seconds ago to see that Pete’s gone too. _Great, someone else who left without saying goodbye_.

I sit down in a chair and check my phone to see if my parents texted me, but I get interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It’s Pete, who had disappeared only a few minutes ago. He definitely doesn’t look happy.

“I thought you went home,” I say, not really in the mood to talk to him anymore.

“Nah, I went for a walk to try and calm my nerves,” he replied.

“Doesn’t look like it worked,” I deadpan. “What happened, did the birds insult you?”

I know for a fact that he doesn’t take my comment seriously, even with the somewhat serious-sounding tone, but he doesn’t seem entertained by it either.

“No, I was doing a lot better, but then I got angry again on my way in.”

“Why?’’ By now, I was genuinely curious. He’s almost never this angry.

“Because, well, on my way in... I bumped into Josh making out with Debby.”

Without conscious volition, I get up and start muttering words under my breath.

“I’m not angry, I’m not upset, I’m fine, they can do what they want…”

I don’t seem to realize that I’m actually doing this, but when I finally do, it seems like I’m doing it against my own free-will, as if I can’t let myself think anything else or else I’ll get angry again.

Pete puts a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

I look at him and immediately stop mumbling.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I force a smile, hoping that he didn't notice the voice crack.

I can tell he doesn’t believe me a hundred percent, but he still leaves nonetheless. Patrick and Gerard see me and come up to me and we strike up a conversation. I start to feel a little bit better, until Josh walks back into the shop, his hair slightly messed up and lipstick smudged across his face. He seems unabashed, no hint of remorse in his face, as if he hadn’t done anything to be ashamed or embarrassed about, as if he hadn’t just done something he knew would break my heart if I found out.

It sends me over the edge.

He turns his back to me after giving me an innocent smile and I start sobbing.

My two friends are a little caught off guard, since they have no idea what happened, but guide me out of the shop and across the street to a bench. We sit down for a bit while I continue to cry, but the pity that they’re feeling for me doesn’t seem right, so I tell them to go back to the shop to enjoy their time before we leave.

“Are you sure? We can stay if you want,” Patrick says, but I shake my head.

“No, I promise I’m fine. You guys know I’m mercurial in my emotions. One minute I’m perfectly fine, the next I’m a mess, and then I’m fine again. Don’t worry. Go socialize with the others. I’ll join you guys soon.”

They hesitate, but leave me to collect my thoughts and settle my emotions. I tell myself that it’s not his fault. He didn’t think I’d find out. It’s not his fault, it’s mine. It’s my fault for pretending that it didn’t bother me for so long. I never told him how I truly felt, so it wasn’t his fault that he did what he did.

“It’s not his fault, I can’t be angry at him,” I whisper to myself as I get up and walk back to the store, wiping away any trace that I wasn’t okay.

  
  


I walk back into the store to see my friends all socializing. They look happy. Gerard shoots me a look as if to ask me if I’m okay and I give him a reassuring look in return. I’m not looking where I’m going and bump right into Josh. _Crap._

I look up slowly to meet his gaze and realize there’s an air of melancholy surrounding him. There doesn’t seem to be an obvious reason for him to be sad. I mean, he has a girlfriend, a bunch of friends, a huge role in a play, and lots more.

“Hey, could we talk?” he asks me.

I hesitate for a moment. No matter how upset I am with him, I can never say no to him.

“Sure.”

He motions for the door and I quickly follow him, getting a puzzled look or two from my friends. We cross the street again, past the bench I was crying on just a few minutes prior and we continue to walk around the center of town.

It immediately triggers memories of the two of us strolling around town on the weekends, with no specific destination. The last time we did that was a week before he and Debby started dating. I can feel tears pricking my eyes, but I quickly wipe them away before Josh can see them.

He sits me down on a bench and sighs before speaking.

“I’m sorry.”

I give him a puzzled look. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I’ve been pushing you away the past week.”

He moves a little closer to me. I urge him to explain himself.

“It’s just, well… You remember the last girl I dated, right?”

I remember her well. He cared about her so much and she broke his heart. She is the main reason he can’t trust anybody completely.

“Well, I was pushing you away because you… you reminded me of her, and-” His voice dies out and is replaced by a small whimper.

It’s really dark, but I swear I see tears falling from his eyes. I look at him, rapt. He tends to be a person who doesn’t show his weak side to anyone, but what I am looking at before me is even more beautiful than usual. He’s crying. Joshua _William_ Dun is crying. I’m not entirely sure what to do, so I tentatively scooch myself closer to him and wrap my arms around him.

I hold him as I run my fingers through his red hair whispering “It’s okay,” in his ear. He wraps his arms around my lower half and continues to sob.

We sit on that bench for what seems like forever before he finally recovers. He looks at me, face still stained with tears. I wipe away his stray tears with one hand and hold his face with the other.

“Listen to me,” I say. “I will _never_ be like her. I will _never_ hurt you like she did. And I will _never_ leave you.”

He gives me a small smile, still sniffling a little and we get up from the bench.

We walk back to the store and Gerard is waiting for me.

“We need to leave now,” he says to me.

I nod and turn to Josh to say goodbye. He pulls me in for a hug. His body is warm against my skin and my head rests just under his chin. I inhale the familiar smell of his clothes and relish every second. His hugs are by far the best kind of hugs. I hold on to him as tight as I can for as long as I can, unsure of when I’ll get another hug like this.

I start to let go and Josh whispers, “Never change.”

I smile at him, and give him one more quick hug before I run to Gee’s car.

**Author's Note:**

> It's about my best friend William (who I actually also have a crush on) and he got together with my friend (who's kind of a slut) and he seems to always find a way to break my heart. Since I really care about him, I forgive him really easily, but I wrote this for an English assignment and it helps me remember that he's gonna keep hurting me no matter what and I need to learn to deal with it if I want to keep him in my life.


End file.
